My Unexpected, Dark Journey into the World of “Star Wars”

I’m about to admit something that will be a shocker. This isn’t easy for me, but here it goes; I have never seen any of the “Star Wars” movies. Not one. Every time they have ever been on TV I turn the channel. I found them confusing, weird, and if I’m being honest here, super nerdy. After much encouragement from practically everyone I’ve ever met and the fact that Disney thinks we need more of these movies,I have decided that this summer I will tackle all six movies. I promise to not be too critical of them (those 1977 special effects, my God.) and I will sincerely try to enjoy them.

As of right now I have completed the first two films in the historical order of the franchise. What I mean by this are Episodes four and five. You know, the first ones that happen later in time but are older in production value, effects, actors, and were released first. Sorry, that was a little crabby. But please try and understand me here! These movies are just so confusing! Is it because I’m not trying hard enough to like them? Should I have done more research on this ridiculous world of outer space they are in? Should I be reading things fans have written to explain what’s going on in this galaxy? I thought these were going to be huge epics with lots going on, but so far I feel like nothing has really happened in the story. I don’t think this is anything against the films, but rather culture has already ruined them for me. I already knew Darth was Luke’s father because it’s so famous! It was a complete letdown when I watched that scene because I knew it was coming by the wind and the weird red eye thing Luke had going on. It made me wish I could be watching it for the first time with everyone else in 1980 who had no idea what was coming. Back then it was the biggest movie surprise of all time and it still is, but I already knew it was so I felt cheated. Another question for everyone I have is how is Darth Luke’s father? I’m sure it will be explained in the other trilogy, but it just drives me crazy that I can’t know now. I am not good at being patient. I suppose Luke and I have that in common (see I have been paying attention!).

Also, while I’m on a kick of asking questions of everyone who has already experienced “Star Wars” I’ve got to ask; Am I suppose to like Luke Skywalker? I’ve heard several people and Buzzfeed say that he is super annoying. While watching the first movie I though to myself “This kid is absolutely adorable. How can anyone not like him?! I mean he’s the hero of the whole damn thing!” Then I watched the second one and thought “I still don’t get it. Sure he grew up a little and keeps getting that red thing around his eye, but he is still pretty dang adorable. Should I be finding him more whinny and not worth my time like Buzzfeed said?” OR am I never suppose to know if I like him or not? There are only two things that I know of so far that may prompt me not to like him. One, he seems to be considering the whole “dark side” thing or at least that’s what I felt like at the end of the second movie (again, good action story telling, not very good emotional story telling). I’ll find out more about that later I’m sure. Two, he has the hots for his sister. Again, I wish I could be experiencing this for the first time and not know this information, but being the culturally influenced person that I am, this is a pretty famous fact of life. I know I know,at this point in my viewing they don’t know that they are brother and sister, but Leia should not be leading two men on here. I mean she told Han Solo she loved him before he went into that one thingy (sorry for not using the proper language here), but she sure looked happy to know Luke was still alive and in one piece. Come on Leia, Harrison Ford is into you. You don’t have to confuse your poor, innocent, and undeniably adorable (sorry,he is) eventual brother. Now that I think about it, this just makes me like Luke more and not like Leia. Shoot. I don’t think I’m suppose to think that! Let’s move on…

Lastly, and I am truly sorry about this one, but I don’t think I understand “the Force.” Ok, I get the general concept, but I kind of felt like it would be more than that.I think I’m confused by it because I don’t know enough about it yet. For example, can everyone feel the Force or can only Jedi type people like Luke and Leia (Yeah I figured out she was probably part of it) feel it? Is “feel it” the right verbage here? Also, Yoda is hard to understand. I kept going back on the DVD to hear what he said. Not because he talks in those famous riddles, but just because his voice is so scratchy! AND ANOTHER THING! Did Obi Wan purposefully get killed by Darth Vader or is this another thing I have to be patient about and find out later?…

And with that I have already discovered what I wanted to know with this project; why people are so obsessed and in love with “Star Wars.” It is so frustrating and confusing that you can’t help but like it. I think I am headed to a very dark place with this new project. “The Return of the Jedi” will be coming from Netflix in the next couple of weeks. Until then I need a break from this madness. I need to do more research and try and think about how I’m suppose to accept Luke. Until then people of the Internet if you have any advice for me on the continued viewing of the most famous film series of all time please let me know. Because I am utterly confused by this whole world. And what worries me the most is that I kind of like it. Well played George Lucas. Well played.

Sincerely,
A slow-but-almost-definite “Star Wars” fan.

P.S.- Leia, get it together! Your brother or Harrison freaking Ford. Get your priorities straight girl! Ok I’m going to go now and try to find something else to occupy my time… (and let’s be honest, that’s not going to happen)

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