The 2013 Video Music Awards

Ever since Kanye had his “I’ll let you finish in a minute” ordeal with Swifty, the MTV Video Music Awards have been dreadfully boring. It’s an award show for music videos which 1)Don’t matter and 2)Usually ruin a song anyway. Theses “awards” would be a little significant if MTV still played music videos. But the joke is that they don’t. We all know that one. So what then is the point of the VMAs? Controversy. And lots of it! That probably wasn’t MTV’s original intention for the show, but let’s face it; that’s what it morphed into. From Kurt Cobain and Axl Rose fighting backstage (Aw I wish my boys would have gotten along!) to Britney doing her whole list of press-grabbing publicity stunts. There was that year Michael Jackson thought he was getting an “Artist of the Millennium” award or the year he awkwardly made out with Elvis’ daughter. There was the year Tommy Lee and Kid Rock got in a fight over Pam Anderson and that one time Diana Ross felt up Lil’ Kim. Or that fateful first show in 1984 when Madonna was her annoying self and rolled around in a wedding dress. You get where I’m going right? This show is not about awards. It’s about seeing what kind of crazy shit artists are capable of pulling off. And that is totally fine with me.

So since there hasn’t been anything very memorable since the Kanye incident, what are we suppose to look forward to this year? I am a bit worried that MTV has once again opted for a show with no host. Can we at least get Russell Brand back? He was perfectly controversial. An award show without a host is always awkward! Why hasn’t anyone learned this yet?! Aside from the no host issue, it feels like there will be many opportunities for people to shock the media. For starters, Gaga is back! I have missed her SO much (and that’s an understatement)! Mother Monster is opening up the show with her new song and I have no doubt it will be weird as hell. It’s going to be awesome. Of course there will be some wannabes performing too. Miley Cyrus that means you! I’m really looking forward to seeing her perform live with her trying-way-too-hard new image. Drake is also back and will be performing his first single from his new album (comes out September 24th!)! Besides Eminem, he is my favorite rapper. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis will also be performing. I can’t stand him (meaning Ben [Oh what up! That’s Macklemore’s real name! Have you read your Rolling Stone this week?!], because I think Ryan Lewis is adorable even if he sits there and does nothing), but it’s fun to watch him perform. He sure is a happy little fellow. Robin Thicke will be performing “Blurred Lines,” which is actually a good song. Like a really good song. Since the video for the song is so controversial maybe the performance will be too! Gosh I hope so! If I wasn’t so in love with four British boys and an Irish one (but more about them in a minute) I would have totally voted for it. Sorry Robin! Now, onto the One Direction boys. Since they will clearly win the “Best Song of the Summer” category (yeah I know. Dumb category.) it means we will get to see them, which totally makes up for the fact that the Today Show cut off their performance of “Little Things” this morning. I woke up early for that NBC…

Then there’s the most important person of the evening (and one of my favorites), Mr. Justin Timberlake. When you say your prayers tonight before you go to bed, make sure you thank God for JT. Great writer. Amazing performer. Even better at acting. He’s not just performing either. He’s receiving the “Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award.” Who really cares about the award, though? What’s even better about it is that Jimmy Fallon (my other favorite) is going to be presenting it to JT! How cute is that?! And for those of you asking about this ‘N Sync reunion that was apparently happening, but now it’s not I really only have one thing to point out to you: Remember when Beyonce was first scheduled to do halftime at the Superbowl? Remember how Destiny’s Child reunion rumors were flying around like crazy? Remember how Michele and Kelly denied it? Remember when the Superbowl rolled around and then *gasp! it happened? Yeah.

I’ll be live-tweeting (@StephKocer) all day Sunday. The VMAs better not let me down.

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