20 Signs You’ve Been Infected By One Direction

Being a Directioner is a lot of work. Loving them hurts. Ha. It hurts to catch the One Direction infection. Some of you out there are denying that you will ever let it happen to you. I was there once. I understand your doubts. So whether you’re a non-believer, a full on Direction, or someone who’s lost and looking for guidance (been there too), here is a list of 20 things that prove you are falling in love/are in love with “the boys.”

1. The first one is pretty simple. You start to recognize their songs and eventually you know the lyrics. Pretty standard.

2. Suddenly you’ve downloaded their albums and have memorized all of their songs. Oh well, you do that with a lot of other artists. Gosh they have deluxe versions with more songs? Download that.

3. As you listen and memorize, you also start to do the impossible task: telling their voices apart. They will all sound the same at first, but you will soon learn better than that.

4. In order to tell their voices apart you’re going to need to know who is who. A simple Google search will suffice.

5. You will then realize number 4 is totally wrong. You start reading any and all information about them and then you remember YouTube exist. You’ll find everything you need there. The X Factor auditions, their music videos, interviews galore.

6. Once you’ve moved on to YouTube and are binge watching every interview they have ever done, you’ll start to remember funny things they say because, yes, they are very funny. You’ll soon be in on all of their inside jokes. It will almost feel like you’re one of them.

7. Once you become delusional that you actually know them, you’ll make the big decision. Which boy is your favorite? Yes, you love them all equally, but there will be one that stand out above the rest. He makes you smile the most. His jokes are the best. His solos make you die a little inside. You like the way he dresses, his tattoos or lack there of Niall girls (But back off because he is mine… sorry that was rude. But I’m serious.), the way he uses his amazing accent to speak/breathe.

8. Once you’ve selected your favorite boy you will do anything to learn as much about him as humanly possible. Google him up. You’ll start to learn things you quickly store away in the back of your mind where more important things like what you’re suppose to be learning in school should be.

9. Next you’ll move on to bigger and better stalking. What are their parents’ names? How many siblings do they have? What are their names? What are their grandparents like? Where their from and where they went to school. Since you know nothing about U.K. geography you’re also going to have to Google where all of their home town-thingys are.

10. Why stop at their families? You quickly learn the names of their people. Paul the bodyguard, Lou the stylist, Lux the cutest baby in the world/Lou’s daughter.

11. Then it gets tricky. Your world will come crashing down when you realize that some of them have girlfriends. If you’re in a deep state of delusion you will freak out and want to hurt somebody. Please calm yourself. You will come to realize that part of the reason you love them is the fact that they are normal guys. That means they are allowed to have girlfriends. You’ll eventually realize this (at least I hope you do) and will be happy that some very lucky lady is making your fav happy.

12. Where to go now? If you’re slipping deeper into your fantasy world you will soon not be satisfied with the YouTube vids and constant Googling. It’s time, then, you decide to buy some merchandise. Posters are cool, but what about those cardboard cutouts? You mean you can go to sleep with a life-size Harry in your room staring at you? You bet. Shirts? Jackets? Jewelry? School Supplies? Duh.

13. You can’t be in this by yourself, though. You start seeking out other people that understand the boys. Your friends and people at school are good starts, but then you’ll remember again that the Internet exists. People actually write fan fiction about them? You’ll soon realize that the world is full of people just like you. Sick with the infection.

14. Is it too much to get a 1D blanket? Nah.

15. One of the biggest signs is when you finally decide to tell your parents. “Mom, Dad. Sit down please. I have to tell you something. I’m in love…with five people at once.” They won’t understand, but you won’t really care.

16. You’re pretty much a lost cause by now. You’ve written their birthdays in your calendar. You know where they are and what they are doing every second of every day because you now get their Tweets sent to your phone. If you didn’t have Twitter before you got sick, you sure as hell made one now.

17. You now know far too creepy things about them. You know what all of their tattoos are, who has an abnormal amount of nipples, what kind of underwear they wear, their pets, their favorite foods, their dislikes. You have taken mental notes from all of those interviews when they get asked the classic question “what do you look for in a girl?” Their faces cover your bedroom walls. You say good night to them when you go to sleep at night. You’ve infected all of your friends and your parents talk about them like they are right there with you because you have some how dragged them into your delusion.

18. You now know random weird things about the U.K. You’ve perfected your impersonations of all of them. Even Niall’s Irish accent. Thanks Adventurous Adventures of One Direction!

19. You’ve started saving up so you can eventually go to one of their concerts because holy shit those tickets are expensive. You’re starting to judge others who don’t live the life of a Directioner. You day dream about them almost every minute of everyday. When you hear someone say “direction” you perk up even when you know they aren’t talking about your babies. You can’t remember your life before they walked into it. You’re fingers are cramped up from tweeting about how happy you are for Zayn and Perrie. You’re getting crabby with all of these new fans popping up because you have been there since the beginning for the boys. You start having the fear that this will someday all come to an end. But you can’t think about that now. For the time being you have to be there for the boys, for however long they will need you.

20. You cried. It just happened. You don’t really know how. The tears flow a lot more freely now a days. You went to the midnight premiere of their movie. You got there hours early. You brought tissues. You screamed when it started. You gasped the first time you saw them without their shirts on (and in 3D no less!). You bawled when Zayn got his mom a house. You couldn’t stop the tears when Liam’s dad explained how much he missed his son. You teared up when they all went camping together and Louis didn’t help put the tent up because that is totally him. You cried tears of joy when we got to catch a glimpse of Niall at Greg and Denise’s wedding. You could hardly contain your tears from laughing at Harry with his old lady bakery friends. Then there was the time they sang “Little Things” directly to you. You were beside yourself then and again when they sat around the campfire and talked about their lives after One Direction. Their plans for the future, which included wives. You then cried tear of joy. And now your journey as a Directioner has come full circle. Where it goes from here? Who knows. Where they go you will follow.


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