What We Learned From The Golden Globes

I don’t know about you, but last night’s Golden Globe Awards blew my mind. There were so many surprise winners, which I love and I also got to do a lot of thinking about where this leaves us for the Oscars. The SAG Awards are next weekend and they will give a little better picture of who the actors are voting for (most people in SAG are also in the Academy), but I am honestly unsure of where several categories stand after last night’s Golden Globes. Here are some of my thoughts and don’t forget that Oscar nominations are announced on Thursday!

1. Tina and Amy- Tina and Amy know how to be funny without being too offensive and they know how to keep the show moving without a lot of awkward jokes in between awards. A lot of people on social media last night were asking why they weren’t out on stage more and the answer is because if they were then you would be sick of them and wouldn’t want them to host again next year. There is a method to their madness. Also, shout out to Seth Meyers for being ubber adorable last night and helping write some of the jokes.

2. J-Law- Last year I was really nervous that Jennifer Lawrence wasn’t going to win her Oscar because of Jessica Chastain in “Zero Dark Thirty.” The thing that’s awesome but also really sucks about the Globes is that they separate all of the major acting and film categories into Drama and Comedy, while they are all one pool at the Academy Awards. It gives you two front-runners, but not a lot of answers. The Supporting Actress category is one pool, which means the Globes almost always predict the correct winner (unless you’re Kate Hudson and were robbed of your Oscar for “Almost Famous”). Jennifer won and unless some crazy thing happens with the Academy I highly doubt she will lose the Oscar. I have a feeling she might be one of the first actresses to ever win then turn around and win the very next year in a completely different category. But that is the power of J-Law.

3. The Jonah Hill complex- I know I know I am obsessed with Jonah Hill, but I keep wondering why he hasn’t been nominated for anything for “Wolf?” I mean, it’s even better than his performance in “Moneyball.” Can we just think about this for a second? I know he has no chance up against Jared Leto, but he still deserves a nomination! Here’s to hoping the Academy is paying a little closer attention.

4. Aaron Paul- There is no greater joy in life than seeing Aaron Paul on live television.

5. Taylor Swift was at the WRONG table- I’m almost positive I saw Taylor Swift sitting at the same table as Meryl Streep and Julia Roberts. This is not ok. Also, thank goodness the HFPA loves U2 as much as 13 year-olds love Taylor Swift or else she would have actually walked away with a Golden Globe! Oh the horror!

6. It’s about damn time Amy Adams- Hello! Amy Adams wins Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy. It’s about time someone took notice of her brilliance! This puts her at the top of my list for Oscar front-runners. Somehow I need to figure out if Cate Blanchett is really deserving and then I might know if it’s possible to predict the Oscar winner. I thought Meryl might have this category locked down, but now I have no idea. The Best Actress race is officially wide open, and I for one want to see Amy Adams victorious in the end.

7. Don’t look so pissed Bradley- To one of the loves of my life Bradley Cooper, I’m sorry you lost again (if it wasn’t for Daniel Day last year you would have been victorious), but this year, unfortunately for you, the Oscar will go to Jared Leto for “Dallas Buyers Club.” This might be the only category that is locked down 100 percent for sure. Your time will come B. Coops. Just not this year. P.S.- Go see “Dallas Buyers Club” if you haven’t already. It’s amazing.

8. Emma Thompson- Emma Thompson should be at every award show all of the time. She is hilarious. She doesn’t have a chance in the Best Actress category, but I would like to see “Saving Mr. Banks” get a little more recognition with the Academy. It is a perfect movie about how movies are never perfect and neither is Walt Disney. Get it?

9. Brooklyn Nine Nine WHAT?!- Apparently people haven’t been watching Andy Samberg’s new show “Brooklyn Nine Nine.” It was created by the same guy that created “Parks and Rec,” which means it is a cleverly funny show. I know most people find Andy Samberg annoying, but he’s really not when he has a script in front of him, which is why he also won for Best Actor in a Comedy. But like I always say, just wait until John Mulaney’s “Mulaney” is finally out on television.

10. Amy freaking Poehler- Thank you HFPA. It’s about time someone recognized the shear brilliance of Amy Poehler on “Parks and Recreation.” Funniest woman on the funniest show.

11. Woody Allen sucks- Last night also affirmed my previous opinion that Woody Allen is indeed a sexist idiot and as annoying as I found him before. I do not understand how woman can stand up and thank him for writing good female characters. You’re a female. Go write your own character. Also, Diane Keaton is so annoying.

12. Best Director- Blah where was Scorsese’s nomination and where was David O. Russell’s win? Why is this always the category that sets me off? Why can’t Hollywood understand what good directing is? Blah!

13. Best Actor will be the death of me- It’s official. Best Actor is going to be between DiCaprio and McConaughey. Damn. They both deserve it SO much! Can we have a tie?? I don’t think I can deal with this come March 2nd. Seriously, Matthew was so good and is so deserving, but I don’t know if I can handle him walking away with Leo’s Oscar. But then again, how cool would it be to see Matthew McConaughey win an Oscar? But also, Leo has been waiting so much longer for this! McConaughey just started to make good movies within the last year! I don’t think my heart can take this.

14. J-Law and Leo- Also, Leo needs to win the Oscar because Jen has to present it to him and I want to see them hug again!

15. Best Picture is a head-scratcher- Part of me thinks, “Whatever. Whatever happens, happens. None of them are ‘Argo’ to me.” Then the other part of me thinks, “Ugh ’12 Years a Slave’ has to win because it is very political. ‘Wolf’ is way too controversial and people don’t understand ‘American Hustle.'” My biggest concern here is that “12 Years a Slave” will win because the Academy will feel like they are terrible for not letting a movie about slavery win. And I don’t necessarily disagree. “The Wolf of Wall Street” is the clear winner for me, but I can see where the Academy will choose slavery over Jonah Hill’s prosthetic penis. I get that. Let me remind the Academy, though, that they did let “The Departed” win and that was Marty’s dirtiest movie before he made “Wolf.” And then there’s “American Hustle.” People don’t get how great “American Hustle” is because they don’t understand David O. Russell’s sense of humor. Do you people really not get that Bradley Cooper’s character is suppose to be freaking hilarious?? Jennifer Lawrence is suppose to be a nut job, and Amy Adams is suppose to be the rock. People don’t get that it’s a character driven story that isn’t suppose to make sense. It’s original title was “American Bullshit.” Get it?! Anyways, I’m basically giving up on caring about the Best Picture Oscar this year because I have a strong feeling I will be disappointed. We’ll see what SAG is thinking next week. Until then…


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