The VMAs Are Coming


Oh the VMAs. I loathe and love them. One, they aren’t a real award show (who cares about music videos?), but they are so much fun.

Just think about it! Half of the memories I have of music as a child came from the VMAs! And we would have never had too much Miley last year if it wasn’t for the VMAs!

Last year I wrote about how much I loved MTV’s show because it’s always full of controversy and stupidity (in the best way), but the past few years have been boring. Last year, however, Miley (sorry to keep bringing her up) changed that and finally made it a memorable night again.

So, the real question now is who will be the star of this year’s show? Everyone who is big right now in the music industry is performing. Sam Smith, Ariana Grande, Beyonce, even Taylor Swift. So, who’s it going to be? Who is going to do something so dumb for attention that it will be up on the Huffington Post’s homepage for a week afterward?

There’s a bit of a science to this, of course. It won’t be Sam Smith. He’ll sing “Stay With Me” and people of the Internet will love it, but it won’t be what the people of the morning talk shows will be talking about. Nicki Minaj will probably try something with her dumb ass song (as in stupid song about asses, not “dumb ass”), but nobody really cares about her that much right? Maybe if she gets Drake up there we will pay attention.

People will rave about how flawless Beyonce is. No matter what her performance is like (the right mix of classy and too sexual) you will love it and talking about her being the queen bla bla bla. I’ve heard this all before.

Maybe Ariana Grande will do something controversial. Oh my gosh I would love that! I like her solely based on the fact that she wouldn’t sing grammatically incorrect lyrics. You go girl! But she will probably keep things tame if her managers and PR people are doing their jobs.

That Iggy chick will just end up being more annoying with her “Fancy” song than anything else. Maroon 5 will play their new song and that will be fine. Usher will do some weird performance where he does more awkward dancing than singing and people will wonder why he’s still relevant.

What do I want to see happen? You already know the answer to that don’t you?

I would love to see my favorite Australian punk rockers set the Internet a blaze with a larger than life performance that proves guitars are back on the radio. I’m not sure if they will let that happen though. 5 Seconds of Summer will probably play “Amnesia” all soft and acoustic like. They might possibly break out into a bigger song afterwards then. I’d want to see a track from their album like “End Up Here” or even their “What I Like About You” cover, but I’m sure they will just settle with “She Looks So Perfect” to appeal to the mainstream. Which sucks.

That only leaves me with one other hope, and I don’t like it. Taylor Swift is back and that makes me angry. Maybe even more than I’ve been at her than ever before. Why? Because, unfortunately a girl that has so much potential as a singer-songwriter, a Joni Mitchell type, has officially sold out.

Have you heard her new song “Shake It Off?” She sings “I go on too many dates, but I can’t make them stay. At least that’s what people say.” Um, no duh. What happened to the excellent songwriter we saw on “Fearless” or the girl that wrote every single song by herself on “Speak Now?” “Red” had a nice country-pop crossover mix, but now it’s just ridiculous.

I’m not the person to hate on Swifty because of her constant 13-year-old antics (although that can be extremely annoying), but the reason I dislike her is because she does not live up to her potential and that makes me sad. She could be a great artist. But instead she has turned to pop in an attempt to either get people to like her more or to trick herself into thinking she’s something she’s not.

Despite all this, T. Swift will be the one to pull off the performance that is talked about the next morning (because no one cares about the awards). I can see it now, she will dance around with a bunch of people, no real band in sight, possibly make some ridiculous jab at her boy troubles, and wear some strange outfit that shows off her frighteningly skinny frame. And whether it’s good, bad, or ugly this performance will be the one the women of GMA will be talking about for the next week.

So go ahead VMAs. Break my heart, give out some silly awards, make some dumb jokes, have some awkward moments, some good performances, some bad performances, and most importantly, bring on some stuff for us to talk about. Because that’s what the good old VMAs are all about.

The VMAs are on Sunday and I’ll be live tweeting the whole thing as usual. You can follow all that fun on my Twitter feed.


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