You know the drill. I hope for my sanity’s sake that the supposed website slip of some winners yesterday is not real. Because the Best Picture categories were both horribly wrong.
So we will start there.
Best Motion Picture-Drama
Should Win: If it was me voting I’d go with “Gone Girl.” Because it is the perfect film. Oh, wait. It wasn’t even nominated? Lord it’s going to be a long night… OK, I’ll go with “The Imitation Game” then. Simple, heartfelt, and no over-performing.
Will Win: I fell asleep three times when I was trying to watch “Selma.” Does that make me a racist? Oprah would probably say yes, but I’m sorry. It’s a boring movie that we’ve seen a million times before! Am I missing something here? Please, tell me if I am! For my sanity, I hope the HFPA chooses “Boyhood.” A happy medium!
Best Actress in a Motion Picture-Drama
Should Win: Rosamund Pike for “Gone Girl.” Hands down the best performance of the year.
Will Win: Julianne Moore for “Still Alice.” Alas, she’s way overdue for an Oscar and since she’s in literally every movie it’s probably her time. “Still Alice” was excellent of course so I’ll probably be OK with this one in the end.
Best Actor in a Motion Picture-Drama
Should Win: Benedict Cumberbatch for “The Imitation Game.” It’s my favorite film and I think he’s brilliant. And you can trust me on this one because I’m not into him THAT way. I just love his acting.
Will Win: Eddie Redmayne has the juiciest role this year as Stephen Hawking. That usually fools people.
Best Motion Picture-Musical or Comedy
Should Win: Ugh none of these films interest me that much. Let’s just go with “Into the Woods” because it’s a musical and in the past Globes usually give it to the musical. OO! Maybe Chris Pine will be there!
Will Win: Oh it will definitely be “Birdman.” Comedy is so important to me, but that film was lost on me. Because it wasn’t funny.
Best Actress in a Motion Picture-Musical or Comedy
Should Win: Emily Blunt for “Into the Woods?”
Will Win: No I’m seriously asking because this category is a mess of who cares!
Best Actor in a Motion Picture-Musical or Comedy
Should Win: Once upon a time Joaquin Phoenix won a Globe for “Walk the Line.” I just like to remind people of that. Oh and he should win this year for “Inherent Vice.” Thanks!
Will Win: Michael Keaton for “Birdman.” Yeah, I don’t get it either.
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Should Win: Although I hated “Birdman” as a whole I thought performances like Emma Stone’s were great. So we’ll go with that.
Will Win: It’s always safe to bet on Meryl, because that’s what I say when I have no idea. Why is this year’s films such a mess?!
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
Should Win: Why doesn’t Edward Norton ever win anything? Edward Norton please! Will Win: Such a mess! There’s no clear winner in almost every category! This is gonna be fun!
Should Win: David Fincher is the love of my movie fan life and he will forever be the best to me.
Will Win: Alejandro González Iñárritu for “Birdman” most likely. Because no one ever shows Wes Anderson love or respects David Fincher.
Should Win: Wouldn’t it be fun if Gillian Flynn won for “Gone Girl?” Thus proving that a book adaption, when done by the actual author of the book, can be beautiful and perfect? Also, I’d like to take this time to remind everyone that “Gone Girl” wasn’t nominated for Best Picture. Get real HFPA!
Will Win: Probably the “Birdman” writers. Get real HFPA!
This is the point where I got to the TV show categories and just stopped (and wanted to cry). How can I comment on winners of shows that I have never seen? Someday I will save up enough money to buy things like HBO and Showtime so I can watch modern TV shows. Someday after I graduate and have way more free time I will sit down and watch all of the original Netflix shows. I promise I will! Someday I won’t be so grumpy about the state of modern sitcoms. Well, maybe. Until then I will watch my old fashion network shows and throw things at the TV when I watch NBC and wonder how they could be so cruel to “Parenthood” and “Parks and Rec” (more about that next week!).
I’m guessing I’ll be throwing things at the TV tomorrow night, too. 2015 Golden Globes I’m not ready for you! Thank goodness for Tina and Amy!
For the full list of nominees go here!