The Emotional Stages of a New Fall Out Boy Album

I was a young person during the glorious emo punk era of radio and when Fall Out Boy drops a newย  album I take it very personally. Here’s the emotional stages I’ve gone through this week with their new album “American Beauty/American Psycho”:

-This is never going to be as good as the “Dance, Dance” era but I’m going to listen anyway.

-OK there is probably going to be some auto-tune but I can handle that, right?

-It sounds so pop, but also not? Is that why “Centuries” is so overplayed?

-God, I hate how sports people think “Centuries” is for them.

-Patrick Stump’s voice, though. I wish I could sing like that. Or just sing at all.

-I wonder when Pete will discover his mistake and dye his hair back to normal?

-I’m seriously so over “Centuries.”

-I love “Centuries.”

-I can’t tell what genre of music FOB is anymore but I really don’t care.

-“The Kids Aren’t Alright” is the “Grand Theft Autumn/Where is Your Boy” of 2015.

-Feeling extremely sad for people who won’t get the “Uma Thurman” joke.

-Pete Wentz you know nothing about hair but you everything about lyrics (insert crying emoji of your choice)!!!!

-I still miss the days of the long confusing song titles.

-Every band ever has a song called “Novocaine.” I swear.

-More crying emojis and also probably some heart emojis.

-Seriously, how does Patrick Stump sing like that?

-This whole album is American themed. FOB is all kinds of patriotic!

-“Favorite Record” is so good but there’s also an alien singing in it!

-Wait wait it’s already over?!

-I’m going to go back to the beginning and listen again.


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