The Emotional Stages of Applying for a Job

-OK let’s do this.

-So. Many. Things. To. Fill. Out.

-I’ll never remember the answers to these security questions.

-What is my mom’s maiden name again?

-I don’t know, are you allowed to work in the U.S.?

-I’m now questioning if I’m a U.S. citizen and whether or not I’m a felon.

-Definitely not a felon. But which box do I check off?

-Uploading my resume!

-Shit. It’s asking for a cover letter. Gotta write a new one. I’m not going to be that idiot that gives the same generic cover letter to everyone.

-OK, new cover letter is done!

-Crap. In the time it took me to write my new cover letter it signed me out of the application.

-What was my security question again?

-References. Better go email people. My mom raised me to be polite.

-I’m terrified that I’m going to accidentally check off that I’m a male. Or that I have a disability. Or that I’m a veteran.

-Do I tell them I have about 2 months before I get my degree or do I say I have my degree? Because I don’t just have a high school education, but I technically haven’t graduated college.

-Who am I kidding? They aren’t going to hire me anyway.

-Did I spell that right?

-Stop imagining yourself sitting at a desk doing this job. You’re never going to get it.

-Lolz don’t care applying for it anyway. They would be lucky to have me!

-My God, that was only one application?! Do my parents need to sign my life over to this company now?

-Nap time. I’ll apply for more later. Or I won’t. Who needs a job anyway!

-Just kidding. I really need a job.



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