Birthday 2016: Don’t Look Back In Anger

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The year 2016 was a lot of things. With my birthday approaching in a few days I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the past year. As I head into my next year of living, nothing seems to make sense.

We can all agree, 2016 was weird. A lot of very strange things happened.

Donald Trump ran for president and won.

We learned the fate of Rory Gilmore.

We lost Prince and David Bowie.

We gained The Chainsmokers (nope).

Kanye tweeted.

Leo won an Oscar.

And Axl Rose sang for AC/DC.

While that shit storm was happening, I gained a little and lost a lot. I became a different person in 2016 and didn’t even realize it until it was too late. And on my worst days now, I’m not sure who I’m supposed to be. Crossroads are funny like that.

I got a job I never would have expected myself to go for.

I met new people I’d never expected to meet.

I bought a car all by myself.

I learned how to make homemade mac n’ cheese.

I learned to like Sonic Youth.

I used social media less.

I fell in love.

I got my heart crushed by that love.

I drank too much and cared too much.

I missed people.

I fought for people.

I acted with my heart, not my head.

And now, I’m a far different person than I was in 2015. I have no idea where I go from here. But if there’s one thing that 2016 has taught me it’s that I do not know everything I thought I did. I don’t have all the answers. I can’t fix everything. I can’t fix everyone.

But I can try and at least fix myself.

So perhaps that’s what 2017 will be. A year for not giving so much away, but rather taking better care of myself. A year for knowing that it’s OK not to be OK. A year where it’s perfectly acceptable to fall and fail.

And those failures, bug me as they may, could be my answers. Because if I know me (and I like to think I do, better than anyone else), I know that my failures are what motivate me to go out and get what I want.

Because I don’t need certain things. But I want them.

Take that, 2016.

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